Thank You Mr. Oxycodone

Melt in my mouth tasty.

Yesterday was another step forward in my recovery. How so? You see that delicious looking platter of sushi over there? Ya, it’s so inside of me right now. Okay, not all of it, but a few pieces. Plus some miso soup, 2 gyoza, and a bit of Perrier to wash it all down. ¬†Clearly I have a very happy belly.

Of course, for the two steps forward I took with food (both in quantity and substance), I took one back. That of course was a step back in the form of sneezing. Sweet mother of pearl, that shit ain’t fun. No matter how hard I try to hold on or brace for the impact of the sneeze, it just doesn’t stop the pain.

Count Von Count, courtesy of Sesame Street

It may also have been worsened by the fact that I managed not one, not two, but three laps of the mall yesterday – insert Count Von Count laughing maniacally – three, three, three laps of the mall, muah-ah-ah-ah.

Not to worry folks; the pain was promptly kicked to the curb, thank you very much Mr. Oxycodone, and then I took a most excellent nap on the couch. When I woke, my mom was watching something-or-other, I was still rather stoned from my meds, and I was painfully exhausted. The clear solution was to amble off to bed. And that is what I did. Yes folks, my Friday night was just that exciting.

Anyway, given that it has been just over a week since the big slice and dice, I really need to take a moment to say thank you to some people (other than Mr. Oxycodone).

  • First and foremost, thank you to my parents. Not only did they come down to deliver my sorry butt to the hospital, they also returned to pick me up. Crazy. Better yet, they made me food, fixed a leaking faucet in my bathroom shower, cleaned my house, took care of the wee fuzzball (a.k.a. Elliot), filled up my fridge, did the laundry, and joined me on several of my mall walks.
  • Speaking of mall walks, in addition to my parents I have to thank Dr. Gerarda, Dr. Victoria, Dr. Mark, and Dr. Julie for being so awesome and shuffling along with me. The company was very much appreciated.
  • Alan and Gerarda – thank you so much for the KenKen puzzles. EPICALLY AWESOME FUN. I also thoroughly enjoyed the crossword puzzle at the back of the tabloid magazine. I remember chuckling about things in the magazine, but I have no idea what I read anymore.
  • Thank you to Dr. Phillips, my personal nurses Pam and Mary, the anesthetist (whose name I did not catch – he probably gets that a lot, given that he’s always drugging people up), everyone involved in the surgery, and anyone else that might have come in to check on the machines that go bing.
  • An extra thank you to Dr. Phillips. You are a machine! Thank you for not slicing my tattoos, but more importantly, thank you for fixing me on the inside.
  • Thank you to Dr. Beth, Rick, Carolyn, Nancy, all the Twitter-nerds, and everyone else that sent me emails, texts, tweets, and facebook posts about all the best that the interwebs have to offer, to keep me from going insane.
  • Thanks to my friends for offering to help me out. I shall give each of you an appropriately sized hug when I see you next.
  • Thanks to my brother Aidan for bringing me the best onion rings I’ve had in a very long time. Plus the deep-fried zucchini – so good.
  • Also, thank you to Sandy, Aidan, and my Dad for enjoying pizza, wings, garlic bread, and beer while I got to sit by and drink apple juice. Jerks. Ha. I kid. I was stoned, what did I care? But really, thanks for keeping me company.
  • Thanks to the rest of my family for sending well wishes and such like. T’was very much appreciated.
  • Best "get-well" card ever.

    A special extra big thanks to Steph for sending me the following card. Best. Get. Well. Card. Ever.

  • Hez – thanks for dropping by. It was awesome to see you even if I might have been stoned a bit.
  • And finally, a giant thank you to Dominic for the awesome soup, the chocolate, and especially the company. Also – thank you for the spelling lesson. LOL.
If I’ve forgotten anyone, please forgive me. I was stoned most of the week after all.

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8 thoughts on “Thank You Mr. Oxycodone

  1. WooT! Got a shout-out!

    P.S. your spelling of “oxycodon” [sic] in this weeks posts are killing us all. (ALL!) Demerit points from your Nerd-membership card are possible pending a ruling from a higher Nerd court tribunal which may excuse the misspelling of the word oxycodone while under the influence of said narcotic.

    To support my complaint, I present an article from the universally academically accepted peer reviewed encyclopedia, Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxycodone

    ~__^

    1. Gah! Gah! I can’t believe I did that. Clearly I require some further schooling.

      I’m on a mission now to fix all my spelling mistakes. LOL. I blame the OXYCODONE!

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