Bone Luge – It’s Funnier If You Say It Louder

And the gold for Bone Luge goes to Jon!

Last night ended the second day of the Hillside Festival weekend here in Guelph. While I have only been to Hillside once, I can say without a doubt that it is a fantastic music, arts, and culture-filled festival for people of all ages. It has become very much an annual tradition for many people, including a large group of my friends.

The tradition, however, does not end with Hillside. Each night after returning from Guelph Lake (the Hillside venue), my friends make their way to a local pub for further fun, and beer, and if the kitchen is still open, food. This is where I come in. It is my tradition to meet up with them – wherever they are – to partake in the fun, and the beer, and the food. Because who doesn’t like fun, especially if it includes beer and food?

Last night we ended up at Baker Street Station1. I arrived to find everyone already having ordered a set of fantastic appetizers offered by Baker Street (including onion rings, welsh rarebit, soft pretzels, edamame, short ribs, and bone marrow with toast). I also arrived in perfect time to receive my pint of Flying Monkey Smashbomb that Dr. Steph had ordered for me. Awesome!

The night was, of course, filled with a lot of laughter and a lot of fun.

These onion rings are incredible.

At some point in the eve, likely as the bone marrow was almost consumed, someone – I think Jon – mentioned something about a shot that one does with the leftover bone. The all-powerful and all-knowing Google informed us that the shot was known as a Bone Luge2. The idea – use the hollowed out bone to act as a trough to carry a shot of alcohol from glass to the mouth of the recipient. The alcohol of choice – apparently sherry or bourbon. Jon, being the professional that he is, opted for bourbon.

Now you have to understand that on reading the name Bone Luge to my group of friends, those of us with the maturity level of a 12-year-old boy giggled immediately. And by those of us I clearly mean all of us, and by giggled I clearly mean roared in hysterics. Kathy continued the laughter by proclaiming that it’s even funnier if you say it louder. Which of course we did. So much so, that the neighbouring tables began to wonder what we were up to.

The bourbon arrived and Jon prepared. Kathy, the bourbon pourer3, focussed on the task at hand. The goal, to successfully pour the bourbon into the bone such that it might roll towards the awaiting mouth of Jon. Cameras at the ready, Kathy started pouring. But something was wrong.

Raw oysters. Don’t mind if I do.

Zounds! The bone was either not angled correctly or had contours that we were not expecting. As Kathy poured, the bourbon rolled out the wrong end of the bone.

In prompt order, the staff (who had gathered to watch the sport) had replaced the bourbon with a second shot. Cheers from the crowd pumped up our athletes. Kathy passed the pouring responsibilities to Eric. The bone was positioned, angled slightly better this time. Jon kissed the bone, and Eric poured. All was quiet. We watched, anxiously wondering if the bourbon was going to meet its mark.

Success! A direct hit. And this time, not a drop was spilled. The bar – which was mainly our table – erupted in applause and laughter.

I’m thinking we may have just discovered a new Hillside tradition.

Anyway, a huge thanks to the Baker Street staff. Our night was fantastic, and we appreciate your patience for all of our shenanigans.


1 For those counting, that means I was at Baker Street Station twice yesterday. First with Dr. Mark, second with the Hillsiders.

2 Which, given our state and perhaps the fact that we were noisy, was misheard as Boner Luge. Whichever way you say it, still funny.

3 Bone Luge is a team sport apparently.


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