Warning. This Post Contains Food Porn.

Lamb medallions. WANT times a billion trillion. My WANT has a limitless debt ceiling.

I’m officially sick of my liquid diet. There, I’ve said it. And now that we have that ugliness behind us, could I please have a bowl of fresh pasta with clams, scallops, fresh basil, and maybe some cherry tomatoes? Or perhaps a lamb burger with fresh greens and a side of sweet potato fries? Maybe a platter of spicy tuna, scallop, and salmon sushi accompanied with some warm sake? Some nachos with salsa and guacamole? Or a giant bowl of freshly breaded onion rings and a tall frosty beer? An elegant plate of duck confit with a nice Chianti (minus the fava beans of course)? No, wait, how about a giant serving of lamb medallions from The Diana Downtown (or dare I say it/risk it, a plate of their lamb vindaloo – one of my favourite dishes, that sadly I had to give up 2 years ago, thank you very much Mr. Stupid Hernia).

Pasta with scallops. Oh my!

While we’re on the topic of food that I’d love to eat right now, how about we follow-up the main course with a slice of pie; apple, blueberry, lemon, cherry, strawberry and rhubarb. It really doesn’t matter, so long as it’s pie, and it’s in its natural solid state. Maybe a cake, and a donut too? A pecan tart? A pecan square? A double chocolate dipped pastry covered in chocolate and filled with chocolate, with a side order of chocolate? Mmmm, chocolate.

Okay. Breathe, Gillis. Just breathe.

Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean.

Holy moly, Nachos and guacamole. Ya, I just wrote that.

You know, on second thought, I’d really just be happy with my standard dinner of an english muffin and a can of tuna-in-oil. Nothing more, nothing less. Just something solid and heartier than apple juice or grapefruit juice, or tea, or coffee, or apple sauce, or watered down oatmeal that has been microwaved 5 minutes beyond it’s intended heating. Anything solid will do.

Oh my gawd, I want COOKIES. Lots and lots of cookies.

Where does this intense desire to gorge come from? Well, it’s due to a little more than just a liquid diet. Since the hernia started lo 2+ years ago, I had to drastically change the way I ate and continue to eat in order to feel good. This meant many very tiny meals throughout the day – a healthy way to eat, but more a necessity in my case. Eating larger meals meant pain, vomiting, and the like. I don’t like any of those things.

I want everything in this picture. Thrice. And I don't even know what some of it is.

Of course, modifying my life in this way meant that even if I wanted to eat a lot of small meals to be healthy, while occasionally indulging in a larger meal when out with friends, I couldn’t. As a result, I haven’t enjoyed a good solid dinner in a really long time. I know, first world problem. Still, sitting as observer or bystander, instead of active participant at family dinners, friends events, weddings, birthdays, etc., was and remains a bit demoralizing. Especially when you still feel hungry, but know you can’t eat for fear that you’d have to run to the bathroom to throw up. Anyway, now that the end is nigh, I’m beginning to get a bit antsy about eating. Especially since I’m on a liquid diet, so I can’t even get the same sense of fullness that I’d otherwise get from a simple english muffin and can of tuna-in-oil.

Oh well, I know it’s just another small hurdle to face and in no time I’ll be able to eat a real meal. And oh lordy, that meal is going to taste epic. And I’m going to do my best to savour every last morsel, enjoy every nuanced aroma, revel in each and every flavour combination. It is going to be a gastronomic awakening. And I can’t freaking wait.

Anyway, I’ll end this post with a warning to all of the dishes that I mentioned above (and even some that I didn’t) – you are in my sights – I’m coming for you – prepare to be eaten.


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5 Comments Add yours

  1. aqcentric says:

    food porn beats midget porn.
    The end.

    1. dangillis says:

      What if it’s food & midget porn? Is that a case of “greater than the sum of its parts”?

      1. aqleema says:

        It’s an idea but not one that will result in many soiled private viewing booths. In my opinion at least.

  2. Beth says:

    When you are in BC, I will take you to many a tasty restaurant to eat many a tasty food and many a tasty beverage. Be prepared, Dan’s stomach!

    1. dangillis says:

      I am so excited about the prospects of tasty foodstuffs. So. Excited.

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