Unicorn Tears And Blasphemy

Mini-Jesus is about to go swimming

Exactly 10 days ago (give or take an hour or so), I wrote about my Christmas gift from Rick. That gift included the most excellent Unicorn Band-aids – which were said to be enchanted by the healing powers of Unicorn tears – and the Watch It Grow Jesus (or as I called it, the Mini-Jesus).

As directed, I placed the Mini-Jesus in a glass of warm water and let him soak for 10 solid days. In that time, according to the packaging, Mini-Jesus would grow 600% to become Gigantor-Jesus. To be honest, I was worried that the glass that I’d placed him in wouldn’t contain the awesome transformative power I was likely going to witness. You see, I assumed growth of 600% would be akin to (or greater than) the growth that Bruce Banner experienced whenever he’d transformed into the Hulk. And we all know how much power was involved in that transformation.

Gigantor-Jesus, in all his glory. Also, yes, I did get my hair cut.

Anyway, I patiently waited and documented the transformation on an almost daily basis. In fact, I’m pretty sure I documented it daily via photo, but for some reason can only find 8 of the pictures. Regardless, I present to you the incredible transformation of Mini-Jesus to Gigantor-Jesus. You’re welcome.

And in case you were wondering, yes, I just wrote a post that included enchanted unicorn tears, Mini-Jesus, the Hulk, and Gigantor-Jesus. I’m pretty sure that’s almost blasphemous. Perhaps completely blasphemous? Who knows. I’ve never claimed to be a theologist.



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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Gillian says:

    Zen totally got me those bandaids for Christmas a year or two ago. They make me cry happy unicorn tears when I cut a finger or something:) Plus, rainbows!

    1. dangillis says:

      The rainbows offer extra rainbow healing powers. I think it’s related to the pot-o-gold or luck or something.

  2. Beth says:

    You may not be a theologist, but as an ordained minister (oh yeah, I’m so going to be milking this one), I say that this posting is in no way blasphemous. Blaphemawesome – yes. But blasphemous – no.

    1. dangillis says:

      Sweet. I was worried that I’d end up in some sort of fire-y pit.

  3. Ooh ooh! I got an Alien egg for Christmas. I should hatch the egg and let Gigantor Jesus and Baby Alien fight it out in a death match akin to Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus.

    1. dangillis says:

      YES YES YES. 1000 TIMES YES. And we should document such a cage match. Note – I’ve decided the death match should also be a cage match, because what’s better than a death match? A death match with a cage. True story.

  4. Reblogged this on soulblindministry and commented:
    HA HA HA! I am so sorry but I had to repost this! Talk about letting Jesus grow in your life…

    1. dangillis says:

      Thanks for the reblog. That’s great! Glad you enjoyed.

  5. Rick says:

    Gigantor-Jesus may be a climactic fail, but he’s still Jesus nonetheless. Blasphemy!

    1. dangillis says:

      You’re just jealous because you don’t have enough Gigantor-Jesus in your life. LOL.

  6. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have a duck that grows in water, but he’s not as cool as Gigantor Jesus is :p (or as big, for that matter)

    1. dangillis says:

      Between the duck, my friend’s alien egg, and Gigantor-Jesus, I’m sure there’s enough fodder to start a comic strip. LOL.

  7. jodiq says:

    Hahahaha! Betting Jesus chuckles too 🙂

  8. Thanks for the smile 😉

    1. dangillis says:

      No prob. Thanks for checking out my blog 🙂

  9. Filiz says:

    Very interesting lol

  10. jezerae says:

    Cute to say the least

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