Where’s The Cake?

Elliot was all prepared for a party, but has decided to retreat to his bed because there wasn't any cake. Regardless - Happy Birthday all y'alls with birthdays this month

January is a month of many birthdays. So many birthdays – Silvia, Mike, Mel, Aqleema, Matt, Paula, Dr. Beth (whose birthday just so happens to be today – so happy birthday Dr. Beth), Bum, Dr. Gerarda, George, Jeff, Val, Marilyn, Dr. Neil, and the list goes on. I’d argue that there are so many birthdays, that if I were to eat cake for each and every one of them I’d end up in some sort of diabetic coma. The quantity of birthdays in January rivals that of May and November. Crazy!

Note the first: for those not in the know, 50% of my immediate family (2 parents, 3 brothers, 2 sister-in-laws, 5 nieces, and 1 nephew – that’s 14 of us in total) have birthdays in May.

The thing that I find absolutely crazy amazing about all of the birthdays in January is so much more than their quantity. It is the fact that so many people I know share the exact same birthdays in January.

Notice that I wrote share the exact same birthdays. That wasn’t a mistake. I know several people who have the same birthday in January. But I also know other people who have the same birthday in January that is different from the first set of people. And then there is yet another group of people in January that share a birthday that is also different from the first two groups. Confused?

I was going to buy each of you this cake, because who doesn't want a birthday cake with chest hair on it? Actually, pretty much everybody doesn't want that. Consider my not buying you this cake your birthday gift. You are welcome.

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, let me begin by telling you that I have 3 close friends who all had birthdays yesterday. While I did send out some quick emails to wish them a happy birthday, I of course will give them a giant hug/leg hump to celebrate more appropriately (or inappropriately as the case may be) when next we meet. So, Aqleema, Matt, Paula – consider yourselves duly warned.

A little later this month, Dr. Gerarda and Bum will share a birthday. And then after that, George and Jeff will also share a birthday.

What is it with people having babies on the same day in January?

Note the second: for those not in the know, November brings a multiplicity of shared birthdays as well: 2 on the 7th, 3 on the 8th, 2 on the 17th, 3 on the 18th, and 2 on the 20th. 

If I could, I'd buy each of you this Chuck Norris cake. Because when Chuck Norris wishes you a happy birthday, it's not a wish - it's a command.

Anyway, I really just wanted to wish everyone a super-duper happy birthday. I wish that I could see you all on your special days and give you the requisite hug and leg hump (your choice of course – I mean, it is your birthday) that I previously mentioned. I also imagine that these visits would involve cake of some sort. However, since I won’t be seeing all of you on your special days, and since I don’t have any cake hanging around my home (I know, what kind of home do I live in?), I will pour myself a scotch and toast you all from the comfort of my living room.

Note the third: I will pour one scotch, because if I were to celebrate each birthday right now with a scotch, I’d probably not make it to my class tomorrow. And that sort of behaviour is apparently frowned upon when you’re supposed to be professional. Pffft. 

Note the forth: I was actually going to calculate the probability of having multiple people sharing the same birthdays this month, but then I realized I was tired, and I also realized that it would make this post far too long. I’d say that not calculating the probability is also a birthday present, but I know that you all are dying to know the answer – so I’ll present that in a later post. I know, the anticipation and excitement must be killing you.

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. shitautomo says:

    hilarious and interesting… and how very observant of you… 🙂

  2. Beth says:

    First – Thank you for writing this posting about awesome people having January birthdays on *my* birthday. It makes me feel all warm and squishy inside!

    Second – I can’t believe that none of your other awesome people have the same birthday as me! Related: I share my birthday with Sir John A MacDonald and Jean Chrétien. Clearly, this means I am destined to be a Prime Minister!

    Third – Speaking of shared birthdays, would you believe that my dad has two sisters and a brother who all share a birthday (and there are no twins/triplets in that group). My aunt was born then 3 years later my uncle, then 3 years later my other aunt, all on June 29. My grandparents apparently had a very predictable sex life!

    And finally – I would like a leg hump, with interest (compounded daily) the next time I see you.

    1. dangillis says:

      First – No problem. You should feel all warm and squishy inside.
      Second – You would be the most awesome PM ever. Darth Harper should take some lessons.
      Third – That is pretty unbelievable! Quadruplets born years apart. Science must have been involved. Also, I’m going to add this example to whatever post ends up being about the probability of this stuff happening. CRAZY!
      Finally – Normally I’m all over compound interest and such, but I’m not quite sure how it works when it comes to leg humps. Is it that the leg humps last longer? Or is it that as the interest compiles, we move from leg humps to other things?

  3. Beth says:

    To clarify, it’s just triplets spread over 6 years, not quadruplets (2 aunts & 1 uncle). Thought I should clarify so that you can include it in your upcoming post about probabilities of such stuff happening.

    As for compound interest, I was assuming that it would just add to the duration of leg humping, as I had not thought about the exchange rate from leg humps to other forms of, um, currency. Perhaps I need to check to see if the Bank of Canada lists such things.

    1. dangillis says:

      Clearly I’m on crack or am suffering from sleep deprivation. I read your comment as if there were four people. Maybe I assumed your dad was in the mix. Whatever, it’s still freaking amazing!

      I would hope the BoC lists such important things. However, they might be only concerned with the monies. Such narrow thinkers, the BoC. Additionally, I approve of your use of the term “currency”. Well played Dr. Beth. Well played indeed.

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