Anti-Naparticles And The Nap-Event Horizon

He looks cute, but really he’s a nap-hole

Remember yesterday when I was wired and clearly delirious? And remember how I went on and on about eating my sad breakfast on my sad stairs, and how I was using my sad coffee table as a makeshift chair for my sad little workstation, and how I ate my sat leftover fries and gravy that were two days old for dinner1?

Those were good times, no?

It’s amazing how 3 hours of sleep can make one transition from a state of delirium to zombie-ism in, well, 3 hours. It’s also amazing how the adrenaline of the first official lecture of the semester3 can ward off the zombie like effects of such little sleep. It’s also amazing how quickly one crashes when all the meetings and classes and other meetings end.

And that, dear readers, is what I did today. I crashed hard. In fact, I was in the middle of an email when I passed out. Fortunately I had returned home prior to this because the insurance claims adjusters had come by, and I wanted to get the scoop directly from them about the current and future states of my condo4. After they left, I did what any hardworking fellow would do – I went upstairs to work from the comfort of my bed. You see, I decided that my sad coffee table as a makeshift chair for my sad little workstation just wasn’t going to cut it today. And so I sat down and started drafting an email.

It was shortly after I started drafting the email that I noticed the head bobs. I fought them for a while. I turned up the music hoping the beat might keep me awake. I tried singing along but found my focus was highly questionable; my multitasking skills even more so.

A nap-hole is just like this, except fuzzier. And he purrs when his belly is rubbed.

And then Elliot joined me. I should have realized that he would ultimately be my undoing. I’ve alluded to his powers before; that is, I’m pretty positive that Elliot is the black hole for particles of awakeness. Being next to him pretty much guarantees that all of your awake particles (also known as anti-naparticles) will be drawn in by some mysterious and as yet poorly-understood-by-science gravity-like well produced by Elliot and presumably by all fuzzball like creatures; being lost forever beyond the nap-event horizon5.

Clearly I was too close to Elliot. Within seconds of him lying down I was out.

There I stayed in a state of blissful slumber until a text message woke me up6.

Anyway, despite my zombie-like beginnings to the day, I have to say today was awesome. Class included a most excellent guest lecture from my friend Danny (@dcwllms), my meetings were actually fun, I was able to chat with my claims adjusters and figure out what’s going on with my condo, and I had a nap. Not too shabby for a Tuesday.

Now I just have to get back to work as I have to finish prepping for tomorrow’s lab.

Hmmm, should I be concerned that the fuzzball just plopped down beside me again?

1 With bacon of course2.

2 And pie. Mmmmm, pie.

3 While we technically had a class last week, it was all introductions and how do you dos. Today’s class was the first official lecture.

4 You may recall that a pipe burst in my upstairs laundry room on the 14th of August, flooding my condo and the condo beneath me. You may not be aware that prior to leaving on the Big Mountain Challenge, I had a second flood because my water softener decide to go on the fritz. I don’t really understand the inner workings of a water softener so I’m not really going to speculate why this happened. Needless to say it did. The bottom line – my condo has been twice baptized. I hope this means that the flood demons have been exorcized appropriately.

5 The boundary at which all anti-naparticles will be unable to escape the gravity-like forces of Elliot.

6 Thanks Rick. Sheesh, even thousands of kilometres away and you’re still annoying me. Ha! I kid. I miss your ugly face.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Rick says:

    I’m cool like that. And I like your Elliot theory. He’s quite the cat.

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