Now I’ve Seen Everything – Maybe

Muppet Hallowe’en!

I just saw a Slutty Swatch.

I’m not really sure how else to explain it. Basically I saw a woman walking down the street with her friends – all dressed up for Hallowe’en: she was wearing pretty much nothing save for paint swatches and high heels. Hence, a Slutty Swatch.

Update: it just dawned on me that she was probably dressed as 50 Shades of Grey. Clever, I guess.

Anyway, I was downtown this eve enjoying some dinner, drinks, and excellent conversation with my friends the Lady, and the Warrior Princess (also known as Susi and Aqleema, respectively). To be honest, I had forgotten that it was Hallowe’en weekend; this despite the fact that I wandered around a pumpkin “carving” display at the mall this afternoon. My skills at connecting the dots are apparently lacking these days.

Regardless, after dinner and drinks and some more excellent conversation we decided to head home. In the short drive from the restaurant to my condo I saw the following:

  • A Slutty Swatch (a.k.a. 50 Shades of Grey).
  • A dude wearing a green one-sy (my eyes are still burning).
  • A couple of guys dressed as plush versions of the Winnie the Pooh characters.
  • A slutty zebra. That’s right. Zebras are apparently slutty.
  • Statler and Waldorf of the Muppets.
  • Jason (of Friday the 13th fame).
  • The Dude (of the Big Lebowski fame).
  • A guy dressed as a suitcase.
  • Some creepy person dressed as the girl from the well from the movie the Ring (at least, that’s what I think she was dressed as).
  • Some guy in a tutu.
  • Zombies galore.

Hallowe’en is weird. Part of me wishes I was still downtown to take in the sideshow, but to be honest I’m glad I’m home. I’m going to dress myself up as someone who’s going to bed with a glass of scotch. Because Hallowe’en isn’t Hallowe’en if it doesn’t include a scotch. That’s a rule. You should write it down.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. You’re going as Ron Burgundy then. “Scotchy-scotch-scotch, I love scotch! In my belly!” [said while sing-songing].

    1. dangillis says:

      Ha! How did I not think of that. I’m totally Ron Burgundy.

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