Silent Night

A good plan. A better plan would have included motion sensors on the roof. And maybe some scotch to distract the jolly fat man.

After a busy week of seeing friends, Christmas shopping, and the like, tonight my home is surprisingly and most enjoyably silent. Well, silent-ish.

To my right is the wee fuzzball, purring, snoozing, and probably dreaming about whatever it is that cats dream about. To my left is a dram of scotch1. The Christmas tunes are playing softly in the background, and I’ve already stuffed myself on some Christmas treats2. Everything that needs to be done is pretty much done.

Well, everything if everything excludes wrapping gifts.


The mountain of things on the table behind me, which at this moment I’m choosing to ignore, patiently await the hours of wrapping and ribboning and bow tying to transform them from simple things I purchased to marvelous wondrous mysterious presents-o-Christmas. Would that I could fast forward time to the exact moment in the very near future when that task is finished.

But fear not, dear readers – I will get through this. It may require the help of an extra dram or two of scotch, it may demand that I watch several Christmas movies while wrapping, and it most definitely won’t happen without the much-needed Calories provided by the ghost of future Christmas cookies I’m about to eat. But I’m willing to do all of this for the sake of Christmas, because Christmas is about giving.

Ha. I’m such an ass.

Merry Christmas everyone.

1 Ardbeg, thank you very much.

2 Fresh bread, sliced prosciutto, smoked mackerel, olives, and a Christmas cookie or ten.


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